apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
