So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
