My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
