just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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