drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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