Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i will never coherently bang her
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
