Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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