girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
