no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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