Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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