"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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