dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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