fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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