Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
