Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
