My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
