My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
