I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
