like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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