You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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