Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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