I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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