great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
