so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
