Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
