i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
porn star boner night. come get it.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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