my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
