and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
