i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize