he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
