so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
This is the high leading the old right now
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
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