ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
