Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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