White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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