Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
