I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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