We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
