I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
