I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
