I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
The air taste purple.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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