People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
