Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
The air taste purple.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
