she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I am one with the molecules
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
