Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
