lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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