pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
