9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
