ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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