Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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