but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
