Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
